Retirement: mind-boggling process

Now is the time to prepare for retirement. Save for the future. Invest now to have a lucrative retirement. I tire of hearing these come-ons, these bits of advice. So often they come from those who will benefit from your efforts to have enough in retirement. My personal experience is that there is so much more to be concerned about as one prepares for retirement. Oh yes, you will need money but that isn’t the only concern.

I retired more than 3 years ago. Money has not been a problem for me since my wife has continued to work. The emotional, the mental, the social adjustments have been monumental. When will that part of retirement preparation be talked about? Money doesn’t take care of everything.

For many years I was totally involved in social services, mental health and related causes. That’s right they were “causes.” Things that I believed in and from me they received total commitment for all those years. I gave blood, sweat and tears. Then, upon retirement I lost my cause, my role in society and in the workplace. And since my retirement involved a move for my wife’s new job assignment I lost all familiar surroundings, friends and acquaintances. I no longer knew my barber, the checkout person at the grocery store or my way around town. I was lost, a stranger in a strange land. Oh yes, I also became a senior citizen…..feeling and looking older each day.

Adjustment to this new life has been difficult. For the most part I have overcome the challenges. Moving from feeling like I lived in a vacuum initially to the stage of chaos and then to a new definition of myself was not easy. There were many other stages of development along the way and I continue the struggle today.

Now I think I would like to design a workshop, develop a website, perhaps write a book about the emotional preparation for retirement and dealing with the unexpected. I don’t know whether anyone else has experienced similar phenomenon when they retired but if so I would like to learn from you and also be a resource. I will begin a search for other resources. I read somewhere that retirement is all about the three g’s: Golf, grandchildren and gossip. I love golf, and my grandchildren although I don’t get enough of either. I can do without the gossip. Well maybe a blog like this one is nothing but gossip. And then there is the 6:00 news. If you have thoughts or experiences around the social-emotional issues of retirement please let me know.

Stan the Man

  

Mind-boggling, Important Information

Revisiting the top regrets of the dying as determined by Bronnie Ware brings us to this one: “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” She states that this one came from every male she nursed. Every one! These days with many more women involved in their own careers I would think that would be true of many women as well. Her website: www.bronnieware.com.

The way I have heard it in the past from another source was, “When on their death bed, no-one ever said, I wish I had spent more time at the office.” I can’t imagine that I would ever say that. I know I spent much more time at the office than I ever wanted but I did it anyway. One of the reasons was the advent of the incredible computers that were supposed to be such time savers. Instead the computer age slowed many processes down. Their implementation, solving on-going problems, dealing with incompatible systems and on and on always took significant more time than the “old fashioned way”. But that’s another story for a future post.

The fact is, many jobs, many professions, do require periods of time when long hours are a necessity. That’s how to get the promotions and increased salaries that we think are needed and wanted. Apparently, however, at the end of our lives’ we don’t think it was worth it. If we could do it all over again, we would spend more time nurturing our relationships with spouses, partners, children, friends and relatives. There are also those work-life balance issues that involve recreation, hobbies etc. Yes, recreation. You know what that is: Golf, fishing, tennis, or whatever you might choose.  

This provides mind-boggling advice for each of us. We now know what dying people name as one of their major regrets. Pay attention to that information and try working a little less. Pay more attention to the important aspects of life. Leave a new kind of legacy for those you care about. Oh, and take better care of yourself at the same time.

Stan the Man

 

Basketball Final Four

Basketball is mind-boggling. I love it. I’m always looking forward to the Big Dance, the NCAA Playoffs, but this year, I must say, I have been disappointed. Not by the quality of play but how little play there is during the broadcast of a game on CBS. Compared to the airtime committed to commercials and the meaningless jawing by commentators like Charles Barkley it is remarkable that they manage to fit any basketball action in at all. Even as much as I love basketball it makes it difficult for me to sit through a game and I haven’t made it several times. Can’t they just show the game? No, obviously not. Programming is not the real reason anything is on TV anymore. Instead programming has become simply a minor consideration that is used as a vehicle for more and more commercials. Remember the Super Bowl? More hype about the commercials than the game.

While I’m on the subject of commercials allow me to blow off some steam about the direction they are moving. It seems that there is hardly a commercial that doesn’t utilize children. What is that about? They are in commercials for AT&T, Honda and many others. Isn’t this exploitation of children? I know what they are probably trying to do is attract children to the product they are selling. They figure if they capture young children they will have them for life. I still think it’s disgusting and qualifies as exploitation of children. It should be outlawed. If they can’t sell it using adults then we shouldn’t buy it. I probably won’t buy it anyway. Another thing: I can’t understand the kids in commercials when they talk anyway.

I will watch the Final Four but I think the mute button will be active. I can probably finish the book I’m reading during the commercials and during the halftime garbage. It’s Stephen King’s 11/22/63, 849 pages.

 Stan the Man