MInd-boggling change!

I’m searching through my mind attempting to find a recollection of where I might have put the utility bill. I don’t need the bill, just the account number. The digital clock beside the bed says 3:15 AM. Suddenly it comes to me. The needed document must be in the “recently paid bills” file in the four drawer file cabinet. I file that tidbit away in my memory until morning and return to my dreams. Three hours later I’m awake and head directly to the file cabinet. Wait a minute, where is the file cabinet? It has disappeared and with it the much needed document.

The next order of business is to get the morning coffee brewed. In the kitchen I find the same puzzling situation. The coffee maker is gone. It has disappeared along with the file cabinet. Oh well, no coffee maker. There is a coffee shop downstairs. I go down and get a cup of java to drink while I watch “Morning Joe” my favorite morning show on MSNBC. As I walk by the concierge’s desk in the lobby she speaks to me in Spanish. The daytime concierge is from the Dominican Republic and we often have brief exchanges in Spanish. I know she said “buenas dias, como estas esta manana” but she also used a word I didn’t recognize. Back upstairs I reach for the Spanish dictionary to translate her word. My hand grasps nothing but empty space. The dictionary is gone. Oh well, it’s time for Morning Joe. I begin a search for the TV remote. It is nowhere to be found. 

My brain is apparently a little slow capturing the fact that we are in once again in transition. That is we are moving once again. The movers came yesterday and only left a small table and chairs, and a mattress along with Katherine and I. Even with that knowledge my habits persist, expecting things that are gone to be in their familiar places. This is another example of how difficult transitions can be. They essentially disrupt ones equilibrium. It can take some time for the changes to sink in and allow new brain patterns to take over. It is mind-boggling how disconcerting change can be.

We have had many transitions. I don’t know how often we’ve said “This will be the last time.” So far, that hasn’t occurred. Our furniture is on its way to our apartment in Bal Harbour, Florida. We will join it for only a brief time. Why make it simple?  Next we fly to San Francisco where Katherine has taken a new position for six months. Potentially we will spend 6 months in San Francisco in an apartment paid for by Katherine’s employer, return to Florida and rejoin our furniture and then settle down. Hah! We shall see.

Coming up soon will be our initial mind-boggling impressions of San Francisco, perhaps also some after-thoughts of New York City.

Stan the Man

New Year's Resolutions: Mind-boggling Potential

Most everyone I know, including myself, has areas of their lives they would like to change. When New Years comes around the traditional thing to do is make New Year’s Resolutions as an impetus to stimulate the change we desire. I know that we are a few days into the New Year, 2012. But some of you haven’t yet made resolutions for 2012. But it’s not too late. Others have made resolutions and have already become frustrated, overwhelmed and are backsliding.

In my own life and through my work with others I have discovered some principals that can radically improve your chances of experiencing success in changing aspects of your life through these first of the year resolutions. I share those with you below. The Change experienced can be mind-boggling.

 1. Write your resolutions down. Keep the written description of want you want to accomplish in a place where you will be confronted with it regularly. I have found that inside the top of my briefcase or on the first page of my journal work well. Some prefer a more public place like the refrigerator door or on the bathroom mirror.

2. Start by writing the reason you want the change. Most common resolution is to lose weight. Is that to be a good role model for your children or grandchildren or perhaps your employees? Then write that down. Or perhaps you want to be more attractive to the opposite or same gender. Write that down. Do be sure the reason is one you have passion for, one that is important to you. That is necessary to keep your motivational level high throughout the year. Be as specific as possible.

3. Set the goal. Write the number of pounds you want to lose or the increase you want to accomplish in income or whatever your desire might be. Be specific. Be realistic. Make it just a little beyond what you think you can achieve.

4. Now, after you have done steps 2 and 3 above, comes the most important aspect of being successful in reaching your goal. Write the specific things you will need to do to accomplish the goal. For example If you want to lose 20 pounds you will have to work out 5 times a week for 45 minutes at the gym or run 5 miles every day. You may also need to drink one beer a week instead of ten or be sure to eat only salad three times per week. If you want to increase your income you may need to take a class, read certain materials, take on new projects or apply for a higher paying job once per week/month. You will know what’s needed better than me. The important thing is to clearly identify the specific behaviors that are necessary to bring about the change you want. Again, specificity is critical. The more specific you are the more likely you are to do what is needed.

5. Unless you are superhuman you will not be able to change all spheres of your life at one time. Choose a priority or two and stick with those. Don’t overdo it. Five or ten resolutions to work on, at the same time, will probably mean doom for your resolution. Too many resolutions may well be overwhelming and it will be difficult to stay motivated.

6. Remember, there are always unanticipated results which are usually positive. Simply making a serious resolution for 2012 and having any amount of success will increase your self esteem. Your increased self esteem will, in turn, change your behavior in a positive direction. Watch for these results and congratulate yourself for the progress you have made in your life.

Happy New Year and I wish you success in 2012.

Stan the Man